A glimpse into one actor/writer's life in La-La Land. Part lampoon, part harpoon, all good.

Saturday, August 05, 2006


"Summer lovin’ had me a blast ~ summer lovin’ happened so fast

I met a girl crazy for me ~ I met a boy, cute as can be

Summer days driftin’ away, to uh-oh those summer nights

(wella, wella, wella – oom) Tell me more, tell me more, did you get very far?

Tell me more, tell me more, like, does he have a car?"

Last week I fainted; today, I'm swooning. You guessed it, I have a new love! In truth, it's not so new; we've been seeing each other in secret for some time now. Actually, every Friday night for the past couple of months. It was sort of casual in New York City, and at times very difficult because of the long-distance. You see, he's an Angelino. But now that I've relocated to Tinsel Town it's been much easier for us to see one another. We've really spent some quality time together and have even had some adventures. And I have to say, he's an incredible boyfriend. He's smart (I'd go so far as to suspect that he might be a genius); he's funny; and, he's classically handsome. True, he's a litltle neruotic; but hey - who isn't these days? And in this town? Besides, he's very clean (meticulous, even ) and always does the dishes after dinner. I know, I know - you want me to cut to the chase; you just wanna know who in the hell this new man in my life IS.

Yes, he is none other than Tony Shaloub. Now, I know what you're thinking...It'll never work. He's a celebrity (actually a two-time Emmy and Golden Globe winner) and I'm just a lowly dilettante, a struggling actor/writer. Mixed marriages never work. But, idealistic or not, I have hope. I know what we've shared. It's been so real. And consistent - every Friday he's there for me, like clock work. He's talked so openly; he's listened attentively; he's never let me down. And, he's even cleaned the grout between the tiles in my kitchen. (And bathroom.)

Hey - if some people can have imaginary friends; why can't I have an imaginary boyfriend? And why not Tony Shaloub? (We'll just forget about stalking charges and potential restraining orders for now; okay?) All right, all right; the ruse is up. But on a serious note, the character of Mr. Adrien Monk has kept me great company during this transition to a new city, a new life. I have been, at times, very much alone. Not quite lonely, but definitely alone. Much of this has been good; it's kept me at the keyboard. And it is the fertile ground from which new (self) growth will occur. But it is difficult to leave behind community, the friends that became family. So I find that I am truly fond of this fictional "defective detective."

I remember leaving the safety of home for the first time. I packed up my Go-Go's posters and my parachute pants, said goodbye to South Florida and to adolescence, and landed at the University of Florida. Looking back, I made friends relatively easily; I usually do. But I also recall lonely times in the dormitory; the nights spent pining for good times with good friends. On Halloween that first fall, when my roommates - and seemingly the entire campus - had gone out drinking 'till they dropped. I stayed home to watch bad horror movies, having bought a dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts and a six-pack of bad beer. Very soon after that gastronomical nightmare I discovered David Letterman, my first fictional boyfriend. (I still dream of kissing him on the forehead on live television one day...) I know this borders on psychosis, but I really looked forward to his late night visits. He made me laugh. And that laughter stayed with me, long after the station stopped broadcasting. I used to say David Letterman saved my life. Not that I was every suicidal; but he nourished me through some tough times, and helped me to keep my humor and my hold on myself as I struggled to build a life.

Now that I find myself once again starting over, I am again turning to television for succor. (In moderation, like a nice glass of red wine, of course. And in balance with treasured phone calls and e-mails from the East Coast.) An odd perspective, I know; but I consider myself a lucky dog to have both real and imaginary friends.

Thanks for being there every Friday night, Tony - and for all of the laughs.


Blogger Betsy said...

Am now wondering if I'm a real friend or an imaginary one? A virtually real semi-imaginary friend.

We've already met up more often here than we've been able to in person for more than a decade! (Sheesh, now I feel old!)

I'll be happy to drink a glass of wine with you! But with the time difference that could become kind of an adventure-- unless you're willing to heft a glass at 9am your time! :-)

Enjoy your summer romance and please keep us posted as events unfold...


7:21 AM  

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