HOLLYWOOD CHILLS

A glimpse into one actor/writer's life in La-La Land. Part lampoon, part harpoon, all good.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

FREE BALLING



There's a timeless debate among men, well, some men: to go with or without. Underwear, that is. Within this framework lies a subsequent quaffle - whitie tighties versus boxers verus boxer briefs. Aside from just having an excuse to post all of these homoererotic images on The Chill, these pictures serve as metaphor. Because I'm faced with a similar choice and I'm completely baffled. To go with, or without - health insurance. I have been free-balling it since my arrival in Los Angeles and, to be honest, I'm not quite comfortable with all of that wiggle room. What if I get sick? Or hit by a bus? I'm chanelling Edith Bunker right now, I know. But I can't help it; I can actually hear Edith's New York, high-pitched screaching in my mind: "Laaangdon! What if you get a hernia?" Oh, God; make it stop! Take me to the safe place! But I can't stop it. I mean, anything could happen. And me, without protection! (Men, have you ever tried to sit crossed-legged without the support of a lovely pair of briefs? Yeah; that's how I feel right now without the proper health coverage.)

So, clearly I've made one decision. I just can't go without any longer. That goes for both underwear and health insurance. But now comes the hard part, the real pain in the ass. Which company? Which plan? HMO or PPO? (Hell, it feels like a TKO.) But on I forge through layers of legalistic mumbo-jumbo, restrictions, and prohibitions. There's co-insurance and deductibles. What the fuck is coinsurance??? And why is there a deductible? This isn't my car; it's my friggin' body! And what about mental health services - NOT that I need any; I'm just like, you know, curious... AGH!


Oh, God - I'm turning into Lewis Black! I just spent the last two hours researching health insurance plans and now suicide is looking pretty good.

I need to do something...I think I'll feel better if I just took this pencil and shoved it in my eye.

5 Comments:

Blogger Kal said...

Doc Hollywood:

Check out Freelancers Union @ http://www.freelancersunion.org/health-insurance-a/. Check out the HIP Prome POS Plan. Hope it is of interest....love the underwear tease opening :)

11:06 PM  
Blogger Soul Terrain said...

no, no! Not the pencil! Not before insurance!

3:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

And you, a health professional! Shame on you!! Good for you for taking responsibility in hand. I know its a freakin' pain in the ass but remember whatever insurance you actually choose, you're better off with it than without any at all. Personally, I'm for public/subsidized health care but that's an issue for another day... Do you get a menu of options thru your employmer? I have had good personal experience with Blue Cross (PPO) if that's available.

Lisa in Chi-town.

2:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh-mi-god who is the hottie in the briefs?? Who cares - thanks for posting him. Makes for nice accompaniment to my morning cup of java!


A Reader in Chicago ;)

2:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm all for the tighty whities.

-Julius

6:43 PM  

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